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Showing posts from October, 2020
Sometimes all I crave for is silence. Sometimes all I need is rest. Sometimes we just want to breathe. Sometimes nothing makes sense other than the breeze. Sometimes the restless mind needs peace. The peace to feel the things around us and more importantly feel ourselves. The lost, unsettled, unexplored, unwanted selves. The time to think what went wrong. The time to think what made us so strong. The time to think, explore, love the universe within us. The time to know the worth of our cosmos. Maybe we are more than what we think we are. Maybe it's important to be selfish enough to let us breathe, To let the caged heart feel the beats, To close our eyes and to let the mind freeze. What made my mind so suffocated? What made my soul so scared? Like the colour of the dawn, the silence now seems like a song. With that long it got loneliness along, Now that song makes me happy. With every passing breathe, I cling to it, to save me, to brave me. When the sun craved for the romantic moon,

October 26 11:27am

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I'm enjoying who I'm, in a process to become the better me, trying to control my emotions and overthinking.. loving who im. Embracing my flaws and finding beauty in who im.. There's no better Anagha than this flawed anagha.. she is who she made from all the mind wars and struggles she went through.. on a surface level you may not know her, but she is special as everyone is..  she is unique.. she is who she should be. I'm the daughter of thousand storms and naked truths..  She love who she is and where is at the moment. Life is what you make out of it, so do good deeds, outshine your capabilities and know your potential. Become a better version of who you could ever be..😊 And here I'm realising how grateful i should be. I've a great life. Amazing career, good intellect, surrounded by amazing family and some good friends:) Your worth is seen in your ability to think and process it. And not in all the flawed shits you throw around in social media. Spiritual relati
Hi Anagha,  I don't know what it is.. it's a long time since I'm genuinely happy. Idk when was the last time I was genuinely happy? Maybe just before joining college..   I'm not complaining about the college, it's the best I can ever dream of. But many things just fucked up my life since 2018 September. I dont hate there or anyone there but just I don't find happiness there.. well anyways I had problems before too but that aggravated when I joined to college and meet new people.  Everyday I'm make uping myself to pretend to be happy.  Sometimes I hate my mom because she played the major role in my despair..  1. )she and her family told I'm ugly therefore killed that confident me long time before..  2.) I grew up seeing her all day crying and mentally unstable attitude kinda screwed up my life.. I acquired that stupid emotionally unstable attitude of her. 3.) Bad parenting. I wish I had better parents.. as a teen I didnt cared much because I was unaware o
First of all thank you lord, I'm able to appreciate who I'm and in love with the process who I'm becoming.. during the first year of college and even upto September of 2020 I was in a bad state emotionally, I dont know how to explain but all my vents would say a lot about my emotions that time. Eventually and finally I'm glad that I've grown up from that..  it feels so good that I got back that old motivated, goal filled Anagha back..😊🤗 I'm happier and doing better than I ever was..  Emotional stable, motivated enough, I've goals to reach, I'm striving to becoming a better version of me. I'm knowing the importance of Me, loving who I'm, not caring much about what world thinks of me. Not overthinking about all nuisances what people create around me which often disturbs my mental peace, I'm able to love who I'm and able to avoid toxic social media and having a control  Thanks to lockdown it really did a great job, I'm able to love and

I feel little sad. my rant on Mental health

 I'm sorry parents and family im not the best loving daughter you wanted me to be, although deep inside i love you guys but i have a hard time expressing that, okay im no more gonna talk about the word trauma, i had talked about it enough, no more gonna revoke it, let it heal. i wish i loved and was more caring to my old granma and parents, its just hard for me, you live in this stupid world and you are influenced by all the shitty priorities in the end all that matters is family. although im not doing bad in life, i mean im really where im more than i could ever dream of myself thankful to the lord above for the oppertunities he endowed me with. im really glad to be a doctor, i seriously doubt myself whether if i can do it, probably i could thats why god brought me here, all these insecurities arise from my low self esteem. well its hard sometimes, believe me, mental health is a real thing, i dont know whether i have any issues, im not yet clinically diagnosed so i cant comment ab

My little mind

I wish I was stronger, but it's okay, At least I'm glad that I'm logical and sensible enough to find the roots of all my insecurities and problems. Maybe someday I can overcome and outshine it. My issues arise primarily because of the toxic judgemental environment I grew up in. Certainly my parents were not the best, they did a bad parenting job and my judgmental family and relatives and many classmates in school was mean all those incidents, really spoiled my self esteem and how I view the world. They always told I'm not good enough, honestly i believe, What a child hears in childhood have a huge impact on her life, and those traits and words is something she is gonna imbibe and implement throughout her life unless she makes a strong decision to change. The change begin within her. So that's what right now happening to me.  But I'm stronger than all my traumas, I can overcome that with my willpower and bravery. Wound wasn't self inflicted. But healing is my